Home For Good?! We Pray So!

Unbelievably - This morning we went to the emergancy room once again. Last night before and after blogging I struggled with God to know what the right thing to do for Ben was. Praying for an answer on what was causing his pain and swelling. In the morning I felt like the right thing to do was to contact his new doctor, Dr. Mitchell's office. She is the hemotologist who is helping to manage his case. After a lengthy conversation with one of the nurses we were asked to bring Ben in to emergancy and to be prepared to stay. After calling Randy and then totally breaking down on the phone with my mother-in-law, we headed out the door.
GOD IS SO GOOD - the nurse I had talked to had already alerted the ER staff that we were on our way and the problems we were having. After speaking to the student doctor, the doctor in charge came in and almost immediately identified Ben's swollen, hot, and painful leg with an infection that can form from a cut, or surgery. Come to find out Ben got the infection following the surgery last Thursday where they were trying to address and get rid of the clot that was blocking his leg.
After starting Ben on a heavy doses of an antiboatic we had additional blood work done and an another ultrasound of his leg - then they gave us a prescription and let us go home. A record in and out for us!
Ben is in the livingroom sleeping tonight. He seems to be more comfortable then the last few days, but not active. I can tell he is still in pain because he won't let me touch his leg and he keeps it very still on top of the pillow I have in place to elevate it.
This has been two of the longest weeks of my life - Randy and I are so ready to finish out 2006 and start again with a new year.
In the next few weeks Ben will be taking a few different meds that have their own time frame for each. We have appointments to see several doctors and scheduled lab work for drawing blood. Please pray for his comfort, peace and COMPLETE healing! Also for my mental and physical health. We appricate your love and support. Thanks for checking the blog for updates and limiting the phone calls! Especailly know - trying to catch cat naps when I can! MUCH LOVE to All!
Feeling better and back in control ~ Cheryl

My Sweetheart ~ Benji

Sometimes life can just plain suck! I try to keep my head up and go on. Knowing that the Lord is in control and "he won't give you more than you can handle" - is that actually in the Bible? I am very thankful that Ben and I were able to come home on Christmas Eve and have our family together in the livingroom on Christmas morning. Yes there is a 'but' coming - But it doesn't feel like quite enough.
Last night (Tuesday) around 9pm Randy and I brought Ben back to the emergancy room and were released a little after 3am this morning. Ben seems to be in a lot of pain with his left leg. He is using it less and less. I am trying to support his weight to help him get around, but I can see he is hurting. While at the hospital they did a x-ray and found no broken bones, as well as an ultrasound the length of his leg and found no additional clots. That is great but we still don't know why Ben won't use his leg. Today we went to a second hand store and bought a used wheelchair so that when we are out and about he can come with us. We then went to see the movie "Night at the Museum". When we got home his leg was more swollen than before we'd left. I'm at a loss of what to do. He whimpers when we try to get him to use it and then a minute later he is giggling and teasing us (without moving his leg).

The morning and evening shots are going very well. Ben is such a trooper. He understands that we are giving him the shot so he can stay home with us.

I'd like to ask EACH of you to pray that we can connect some understanding to Ben's needs right now. I just can't figure out how to take his pain away! I'm thankful he is in God's hands - but right now it is hard to leave him there.
Tired and Emotional ~ Cheryl

The Best Present

It is almost 9:00 pm on Christmas Eve and I have already received my present! Ben is home and my family is hanging out TOGETHER in the living room watching The Christmas Story. To everyone - thank you for your prayers. Cheryl

Christmas Eve, my favorite night of the year. It has always been a mysteriously peaceful night. Everyone tends to leave their Christmas lights on all night long. I remember seeing Santa ounce at my Uncle Jerrys' home in Grand Rapids. I have never solved that mystery and I have come to the conclusion that despite everything I have been told, Santa is real, I don't no what else to say than that. I remember thinking every jets lights was Rudolph. I remember how my parents house smelled like pine trees after we put up the Chritmas Tree after it had been cut down at the tree farm in Wayland and had sat in the garage for about 4 hours. Usually we would make a run to Leonardos Pizza or Bells for coney dog baskets while the tree dried out. Dad would got to the attic and pull down the Christmas box and us kids would go to work. The paper manger scene would go on the paino along with the candle carolers. The bells and tinsle would go down the stair rail and the felt door handle decorations would go on the door handle. Each kid had their favorite but since I shared a room with my kid brother since I was seven we had to compromise. I will never forget one Christmas Eve though. I had woke up in the middle of the night and could see the glow of the tree from my cracked doorway. I snuck out of my room thinking I would catch my parents wrapping my gifts but I did'nt. I peered around the corner and found my parents both on their knees by the couch praying. I don't know how long I sat there but it was long enough to stay with me this long. It was that simple faith I had to rely on this week as we watched and waited for Ben to get better and he did. So Christmas morning we wake up together again and I smile at another long Chritmas tradition for me as my family sits down for breakfast and dine on among other things, grape fruit. Peace and Love to you all where ever you are , Ran.

Christmas Eve

WE ARE HOME!
PRAISE GOD!
We will update after a nap or two. . .

What day is it?

This morning Ben procedure went as well as it could have. The game plan has changed though.
Unfortunatly they discovered that the medicine drip that was on the clot during the night didn't help break it up any further than they did yesterday. That means it is there - for good. We have stopped the drip and taken out the wire rod that was in his leg and they are in the process of developing a new game plan.
GOOD NEWS - Ben was able to eat mac & cheese for lunch
BAD NEWS - We are looking at a long term concern. We will begin with establishing a blood thinner that we will be able to give at home. He will continue to get that from Ran and I for the next 3 to 6 months. Right now they are leaning toward a shot that needs to be given every 12 hours. The shot will go in his abdomin or his leg. In addition he will need to be on blood thinners for the rest of his life.
Their are pieces of clot in his lungs and the stationary piece in his leg. They will work to prevent him from every building up new clots on the old The lung clots should disappear and be recycled back into his body. The leg clot will be something to keep an eye on forevery.
HOW ARE WE? - We still have Ben and he still has his dimple when he smiles. Tired and not really looking forward to learning something new.
We look to be here for another 24 - 72 hours before being released. Christmas at home is not looking to good right now.
THANKS for your intrest and all the prayers. Things sound bad - but that's only because I haven't taken the time to share all the good stuff. Christian nurses, Ben has been very complient, Love and prayers of family and friends have been VERY evident!
Cheryl

It's Morning

Update #3
It is morning and Ben and I are doing okay. A little sleep deprived but overall good.
They have scheduled his next surgery for 10am. He is - once again- in a no drink, no eat zone. It is so hard for him to understand that - but of course he is not a complainer! The nurses and doctors were concerned during the night because his oxygen sats keep dropping to low - he has some sleep apnea and doesn't breath regularly during his sleep. What is suppose to be in the 90s to 100 is in the 80 range going down to high 60s and 70s.
We are good. God is great. And thanks to each of you for your prayers. Please let us know if you have any questions I can try to answer. Your Resonse to this blog will get to me when I come to update.
Much love! Us

Midnight Update

Just an update to our earlier blog.
Ben got through surgery well. It went longer than expected and was more involved. The clot was quite a bit bigger than assusmed and it was mostly old blood. That means that the older the harder it is and harder to get broken up. The doctor was able to remove about 50%. It was about 8inches long. We are still on the med to thin his blood because the broken pieces of clot are moving along into his lungs where they will be absorbed by his body. There is one area in the lower left lung that they will be watching. It has blocked a small - not sure of the term - but anyway the prayer is that it will break up on its own.
Tomorrow morning between 7:30 and 10am Ben will be going down for the second phase to break up more of the clot. This will go on every 12 hours until they get the whole clot or until they can't get any additonal to break up.
Keep praying! Ben is a trooper - doing awesome. Sore throat right now due to the tube for breathing. He threw up all his liquids after surgery because of the sleeping meds (?) and I got nailed!!! Got to find humor in that ??right??
Thanks for the suport - you can email us - getting my mail at the hospital or contact our cell and we will call you back if possible. Please not a lot of visitors now - he needs to rest between surgeries and we are in the Peds ICU.
Much Love and thanks for the prayers! Cheryl and family

From Butterworth Hospital

We are still here!
Dear family and friends,
Some of you may have heard - others this will be a suprise. Tuesday Ben fell at school and the teachers said he either fainted or had a seizure. A friend of mine (thanks Mary) brought me to the school and then transported us to Butterworth Hospital, arriving just before 1:00 in the afternoon. After a short time here and several tests, we discovered that Ben has a blood clot in his leg that was causing a discoloration and swelling - it was very significant. His left leg was a greyish purple, large and hard. We were admitted to the peds floor and the testing continued. 15 vials of blood, ultra sound of his legs and abdomon, e-rays, heart eco-gram, a couple of ekgs and then a 24 hour heart monitor. He has been poked and prodded every 2-4 hours with blood tests, IVs, blood presure cuffs and temp readings.
Right now as I type we are in the Family Surgical Waiting room while he is in surgery. They are putting a cath in behind his leg that will attempt to break up the large clot and also putting in a wire that they will "rudder rouder" every 12 hours until they feel they have as much of the clot as they can get.
Yesterday I fell apart a few times. It has been extremely difficult to get blood drawn from BJ. He just doesn't have good veins. Also yesterday they told us they hoped to have us home by Christmas - that was very overwhelming for me. I have been here since Tuesday. Randy has been here as much as possible and is with me now.
Please keep us in your prayers! We covet that right now. Often in the midst of a trial it is hard to pray for yourself and children.
Much love - I'll try to find another open computer and update you as soon as I can!
The Smiths (Cheryl)

The girl with the big forehead

How high can you kick it, Scott asked as I gripped the multi-purpose ball in my hands. I gave it a boot and it went sailing and made that " Tiinngggg" sound as it hit the front parking lot at Moline Christian School. Hi Cheryl he said as I turned to see a girl with a dress on and brown-blonde hair pulled back, I thought to myself..whose the new kid it's april new kids don't show up now and what a big forehead she has. That was 1977, that was the first time I met my future wife. We had always been friends from that point on. she caught my attention when she was a 6th grader and I had a crush on her since. We group dated , hung out at her folks, took catechism together, were in youth group together, she went to my prom and I went to her senior prom and a year and a half after that I asked her to marry me. I had always said, when she asked, that we would be in my favorite place at my favorite time of year when I would pop the question.On a snowy night in Grand Haven on December 14 1986 I asked Cheryl to marry me. This began a tradition of me either giving her a flower or a small note to mark this day. This is that note. It is no secret that Cheryl and I have had our share of challenges in our life together but we have always had each other. The other day I dug out an old cassette I had when we were dating.It was my Yes tape. As we drove to dinner( with our 3 teenagers in the back seat) the last song came on.. it was the song I would write on the notes I would give her. That song took us so far back I swear the kids dissappeared and we were back in the front of my 78 Volare sport... hearing the last line of the song sqeezing each others hand....Hearts sailing down lifes river, two hearts are better than one. I love You Smile Eyes and I always will....big forehead and all. Love Ran

We are home and your prayers were answered left and right!

THANK YOU ~ THANK YOU! Ben's surgery didn't go as expected - but prayers were being answered throughout the whole event!
Thursday morning Randy & I had a good morning with Ben. We choose to wait until Thursday to have him take a bath so to waste some time. Ben woke up in a good mood and never asked to eat or drink until we were at the hospital - that in itself was a huge blessing. We didn't need to be to the hospital until 11am - surgery at 1pm - so we were worried that he wouldn't understand not being able to eat or drink - This was answer prayer number 1.
When we got to the hospital we needed to give Ben an anxiety pill. He took it without a fight and walked into the hospital. He even put his hand out to get the medical bracelet on with out a fuss. When we got to his room he climbed right into the bed and signed that it was time to sleep - WOW (the last time we did this a few months ago - I had to pick him up and drag him onto the bed). He changed his close with minimal assistance and was in an excellent mood. Randy's folks showed up and were a great support to us and Ben. When the nurse came in for blood presure, etc. we had a little resistance but the staff were great and didn't push him. The IV was put in on the first go (last time he got poked 7 times before we got a good placement).
Just before 1pm we traveled to the Meyer Heart Clinic and met the nurses and doctors. When they took Ben I went with until he fell asleep. When we got the the surgery room I watched them give the medication to put him to sleep. But they had problems right off the bat and they had to help him breath two separate times. That almost put me out - not easy to see your kid not breathing and 7 people working on him to help him come back!
After about 40 minutes into the surgery a nurse came out to the waiting room to let us know that the surgery had actually just started and that they had to intibate Ben with a breathing tube because he was having a hard time on his own - That wasn't what we expected to hear. Surgery went almost 5 hours (compared to the 2 - 3 we were expecting). I was pacing by the time he was done. They then let Randy and I in to see him in the Peds ICU. It was much harder to see Ben with a breathing tube than I expected. I almost went down!
After Ben woke up we were informed that Ben wouldn't be going home, instead spending the night, so Dad Smith brought Randy home to be with Nate and Rachael and Mom Smith stayed with Ben and I. At first I thought I could do it alone - but I'm so glad that Mom Smith insisted. The night was long and full of beeping machines. Ben ended up having an oxygen mask to help with breathing. We finally made it home about 1:30pm on Friday.
Good news: Ben came out of surgery safely and numerous prayers were answered through out the time we at the hospital!
Bad news: Dr Finta talked to us following surgery and there were some complications. Ben's arithmic problem was located in a critical place so there weren't able to complete the task they went in for. Finta said that there was a chance if they tried to complete the surgery Ben would have ended up with a pacemaker - AHHHH. Also that it is now necessary to go back in and get the job finished.
Results: We will be going back to see Dr Finta in about a month for a new EKG and an appointment to set another surgery date. This next time we will be going a little different route and do something with freezing the area. For now we have started Ben on the heart medication we were trying to prevent from using. It needs to be given to Ben in the morning and night. Fortunatly we can crush it and put it into his drink or food.
What we understand? - not much! I would say we are little overwhelmed right now. Please pray for Ben's safty during the next few months. Pray that Randy and I make the right decisions. Pray for the meds to go well and there to be none of the side effects that could occur. And remember to Praise God for the answers he as already given and that Ben is still with us today!
Love all the way around! Cheryl & Randy

Jesus Is the King!

I included that text in some information we are sending out from church. What a great reminder as we rush around with our tales cut off - "Jesus Is The King!"
I'm so sorry that our blog has not been updated as much recently. Randy said now that I am feeling better I write less ofter. Well life seems to take over very quickly. Yesterday Randy and I had an opportunity to see a sneak preview of the new moving coming out in December "The Nativity Story." GREAT MOVIE. It covers the birth of Christ and it is well done, other than for a few facts - the wisemen showed up a few years early, etc.
Just a quick fill in on the health condidtions of the Smith Family. I saw the neurologist last week and am on another new med. It is a preventative medicine for the headaches and migranes. It makes me very, very tired. I have also been having blurred vision - I think that might be from the Dystonia meds. But the good out weights the bad. Overall I am feeling great and am able to get around - walk, skip, have balance back . . . The new medication has been a God send for us! A few draw backs being on so many meds - but that is the way it is.
Tomorrow is Ben's surgery. Randy is taking the day off. We need to be at the hopital at 11am, surgery is at 1pm. My biggest worry is that Ben can't eat or drink after mid-night. I'm going to call the doctors office this morning and be sure of that. The problem isn't him skipping a meal - but his understanding.
Specific prayer requests would be for Nate and Rachael as they are at school tomorrow - that they don't worry and have a good day, for Ben and his limited understanding of what is going to happen to him, and for Randy and I as we try to parent and show him love in a difficult sittuation. Please also pray for Dr Finta and his team as they try to correct this area of Ben's heart and for any of the hospital staff - that they can show love and concern and have a special measure of paitence tomorrow.
We love you all. Have a fantastic week.

Sorry,

Its been awhile and I did'nt think I would be the one typing this. Our 3 month marathon of games, practices, fastfood and gas money is nearly over. One more game. Thanks to all who came to games to cheer on the Smith kids. There is still band, pep band, marching band is finished but here is concerts and solo ensemble. Well since Cheryl won't type this entry I say it,s ghost story time.

The name of the place was "the Junction", it was Allegan countys insane asylum at one time and its location, kept secret for a long time. I had parked my car at the opening of a severly over grown road, put on my hunting vest and loaded my shotgun. I had never been in this part of the Allegan forest before and the location intruiged me. Three large turkeys scampered down the unusually straight road so I knew this was a good spot. I had walked a ways with my head down looking at the tracks left by the birds when I had the feeling of something bigger than me just ahead. I looked up slowly to see a large broken iron gate, unhinged and rusty tangled with vines. Up ahead was a huge red brick building with six spires and several windows. The opressive building seem to suck the very light out the late autumn sky. I then noticed a large flock of turkey buzzards sitting on the roof spreading their wings to dry them. I had found the junction. This long kept secret was a secret no longer. I turned to go to my car to call some interested persons who would want to investigate the site with me when I was face to face with a pale greasy haired girl. Her eyes were cloudy and her teeth were bad.She grabbed me by the throught and let out a scream, I don't know how to describe it, I'm shaking as I type this,all I know is I struggled to hold my blatter. Every bird, whether in tree on the gound or on the roof of the building took to flight, encircling the two of us in a whirl wind of feathers and talons. The force of the wind was incredible and her grip got stronger, still screaming one long tone just higher than a shreak. I was now loosing it, I was blacking out I thought I was going to die, her scream now a muffled noise. Blackness. I opened my eyes to find myself at the boat launch at Dumont lake.I drove home and this is the first time I have ever said any thing about this. I have decided to keep the location of the Junction a secret. You would do well to stay out of the woods west of Monterey Center off of 130 th avenue. Wait,what have I done nooooooooooooooooooo.

Goodbye .... for now.

What a strange weekend. The kids had thursday and friday off so I took them off to. When I asked them what they wanted to do they said "lets go to Sonic!" I have an odd family. Ever since seeing the commercials for Sonic on cable we have always said we needed to take a road trip to eat there. So Friday we left about 10:30 am and headed to Fort Wayne to Sonic. We had lunch at the Essenhaus and drove through the rain to Fort Wayne,stopped at a very large mall to buy Ben a boomer, got directions from a Toys-R-Us clerk to Sonic, got lost, stopped at a gas station to buy a map and some coneydogs and a few fries later we had accomplished our quest. Fun and bizzare. Now to the good bye. We had to put our old friend Sabrina down saturday. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done. She had gotten so bad she could hardly walk. Her final hours were spent with us in the living room. At 1:20 I got up and warmed up the car try to compose myself and went inside. I picked up her now small frame and brought her outside. The family had already said their goodbyes. I sat in the car with her for about 5 minutes hating what I had to do. I remembered how my father had to bring my dog Tammy in because she was full of tumors and since I was out and about with friends I did'nt give it much thought and what my dad was going through. I was about to find out. The clerk at the vet could see I was having a hard time my vioce squeeking like a pre-teens. I filled out the paper work and carried her in. I was brought back to that pet rescue farm outside of Otsego where about fifty dogs ran freely around trying to get your attention. I remembered feeling a little nug on my leg and looked to see a small sheltie mix looking at me with eyes that said " I deserve better than this place..take me home. " and we did. We had Sabrina for almost 8 years she was about 13 or 14 we are not sure. She had a long life and and a good one. She deserved to leave this world in my arms peacefully. I was so glad the sun was out it made the day bareable.I remembered being in christian doctrine class at SouthChristian High when it was "ask Rev. Meyer" time. Some one asked if animals and or pets go to heaven and everyone laughed. He said no because they don't have souls. I rebutted. I said they may because they suffer under the curse of sin...mans sin not animals sin. He smiled . As I arrived home I sat in the garage alone smoking my cigarette wiping tears from my eyes trying to once again gain composure. I methodically threw away old blankets and dishes Sabrina used. I looked up at the deep blew sky and the wind skattered clouds and said out loud " are you up there Sabrina?" And it was then I let out a huge sneeze! I was right Rev Meyer, I was right. So good bye for now old friend.

Loving Life

Life has finally started to slow down - so where does all the extra time go? Randy let me have it last night about not blogging as often now that I'm feeling better - SORRY GUYS! Know that your prayers are working and I am feeling much, much better. I still have the tremors in my body - very visably in my hands and last week I lost two days due to migranes - but compared to a month ago - I look and feel great. No CANE!

This morning I was walking to work (still haven't started driving again) and the beauty around me was almost overwhelming. The sun was shining, leaves were all over (love that because I don't have to rake them) and that fall smell was there! I waved to a few people and had someone in a Semi-truck ask for directions (unfortunately I could help him).

Work is going okay - I feel like I have a handle on the office. I have been going home for a lunch break and that has also been good. Just to get away and sit on the couch or at the table for a few minutes helps with the afternoon.

Rachael is still playing Basketball - but marching and soccer are finished! This weekend we are going to do something special with the kids. They have off on Thursday and Friday. We will let you know what we do - there are a few options on the table right now.

Have a wonderful day - and thanks for stopping by to check on us!!!!!

awesomeness of prayer

hey everyone,
god has been really good to my family these past two weeks. first of all my mom has no trouble walking. she's still shaking alot, but theres no more pain for her. and second, i'm finally good with the fact that one of my awesome friends passed away. thats for all of you guys who have been praying for my family, and me.
Love, hugs,& kisses me (Rachael)

This was a post that Rachael did for her xanga site.

It's Friday Again

Good Morning Friends and Fam! Hope you enjoyed Randy's blog the other day. I feel so blessed to have him! Monday I turned 39 - we've been married 19 1/2 years which means that I have now been married 1/2 my life. WOW!

This week has been a very difficult week - but not because of another birthday! I have been fighting with migraines all week. Wednesday and Thursday they got the better of me. I will be calling the neurologist today - see what he has to say. I hate to go on another med to combat the headaches - but when you begin to stop functioning and the only time your are comfortable is in a dark, quiet space - it is time to do something!

I'm excited about tonight and am working out my day to hopefully be feeling good enough to go. Friends of our from Years and Years ago are coming to pick us up and we are going to the Grill House in Allegan. We have known Doug and Shelly for such a long time but haven't seen each other in years. It should be great. Shelly used to babysit Nate when I would visit the twins in the hospital in the weeks following their birth.

Today and for the weekend - please pray for strength and endurance - and if God's willing that the headahes will subside! The counter on the blog is overwhelming. The fact that God has placed so many people in our lives and that each of you are willing to check in on us and pray for our needs and concerns! Our family is really blessed and I love each of you for loving us.

The picture you see is Ben growling - a new face that Rachael and Nate have taught him! Enjoy your day!!!!!

I am officially getting older. My two high schoolers went to the homecoming dance last saturday. I don't know if they were imbaressed that I dropped them off in my full turkey camo in our piece of junk Sable when others were dropped off by chauffers in stretch Hummers. Such is life for children of a red-neck father.If you look close Rachael is chewing tobacco. Not really. She'll probably punch me while I sleep.Nate is finally done with soccer. They finnished with 2 losses 1 tie and like 18 wins. I'm glad it's over.All the running put a hugh strain on our pocket book. 2 more weeks for Rachael and it will be nice and quiet for the Smiths. Cheryl said no ghost stories so what do I blog about? Every morning I write a small devotion to my kids. I give them a small verse to read and then challenge them for their day. Even Benji. The other day I was listening to a christian speaker say that only 9% of christians believe that there is absolute truth and he closed his talk saying we have to decide if we really believe what we believe is real. This really hit me. I must admit most of the time I travel through life on auto-pilot and turn it off about saturday night and slip into church mode, unless the dog poops in the back shed then church mode usually goes out the window. So this past monday I had that phrase on my kids devotion " Do you believe what you believe is real?" If we don't then we can sleep in on sundays keep our offering and not worry about those around us because our fate is the same as the dog sleeping at my feet. But I dare say most of us do believe it's real we just get stuck on auto-pilot. One of my favorite movies is Scrooge the one with Albert Finney and one of the things he says when he is returned from his trips with the 3 spirits is " Was it a dream or was it real?" He decides it was real and goes about his life a changed man. He learned that he could begin again. I watch that movie when I relize I am turning into an old terd. I sometimes forget that what little I or my family can offer might be just what some one needs and whats funny is they are usually little things, little gestures, little kindnesses. For me I had to decide to live like it's real, all that I believe. So if you stop by the church office on Halloween and some of us are out passing out popcorn don't be suprised if I say " God bless us every one!"

T.G.I.F.!!!!!!!!

I don't know about everyone else - but Thank Goodness It's Friday! Nate had his last soccer game yesterday - they won by 1 point. Handing in his soccer uniform has never felt so good! This has been a very busy and long season with Soccer, Basketball and Marching Band. Tonight is Wayland homecoming so the kids will march in the parade and then at the game. I think that is the last marching they will do for the season. Rachael's games go on until November - but that should be good!

Nate came home from his game yesterday soaking wet and frozen to the bone. His hands were so red and cold that he couldn't get his shoes off. Ben and I chose not to go the the game - boy am I glad!

My health: Psalm 50:15 "Call upon me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you will honor me." There is so much truth in that verse for me! Your prayers have been answered! Thank you! I haven't had any painful spasms for almost two weeks and for the most part - haven't been using the cane! When I overdo - I have a little trouble with my balance and I'm exhaused at night but even in that I am sleeping through the night. I think my body has finally adjested to the medicine. Headaches are still there and sometimes get quite intense - Eventually I will talk to the doctor about that but first I want to see if our schedule lightens if that makes a difference.

Your prayers have ment everything to our family. The counter on the blog has overwhelmed me. We love all of you so much -

SNOW??!

I was not ready to wake up to snow this morning. October 12 is suppose to be cooler weather for jeans and a sweatshirt - someone got the weather wrong! I have only a minimal headache today - so hopefully it was related to the rainy weather and it will begin to clear up now. I just called Randy to see how I slept last night. I have sore shins - does that make any sense? No - it doesn't. Well he had no idea because he slept like a rock! - thanks for your prayers on his behalf. I'm so glad that he had a good night sleep.

I would like to ask you to lift up some wonderful people this morning. Yesterday one of our kids from the "Yes I Can League" passed away: Doug Mitchell. He has played summer t-ball with us for years - almost since our first game 9 years ago. Doug has a twin brother at Wayland High as well as older siblings, younger siblings, his mom and dad, and close extended family. The visitation is tonight and funeral tomorrow. I can't imagine having to let go of a child.

Morning, It's dark and rainy - anyone have a hard time waking up? My family did! But now they are all off. We made it through yesterday and ready to do it again. Really today is a much easier day so I'm good. Nate's soccer team won and the band received a Division I. I guess that is great so very proud of the kids. They worked hard in band. Ben did great to - for all the running (or fast walking) we had to do to get everywhere on time.

During the night Randy and I ended up chasing our dog around the house because she wouldn't come back inside and then we tried to catch the cat who sneaked out. Calling "Sabrina" and "Lester" in the wee-hours of the morning are not what I would call fun. The dog ended up staying outside because she wouldn't come to us. Afraid she is in her final days - - I'll keep you posted.

I would like to ask for prayers today in regards to my headaches. Yesterday it became almost unbearable. Not sure if it is the weather or the medication. Please pray for relief and for clarity in what is causing them.

Have a great day!

The Sycamore Street Detour

Good Morning - Sorry for the delay in communication to those of you checking our blog regularly! Just as the title says - I feel like we have been in a detour when it comes to getting through the day. We are running non-stop between the kids, sports, band, life . . . Example is today. The kids are off to school, Ben will get dropped off to the church office at 2:40, Rachael will get home about 3, I will work until 3:30, 4:15 Rachael needs to be back at the high school for a marching band competition, Nate has a home game at 5pm, Ran should be home and at the game by 5:45, immediately following the game (6:30ish) we need to RUN Nate to Grandville to the marching competition and find the band. We will then be in Grandville until Wayland plays. Then we will go home with Ben and get him to bed, Ran will then pick up Nate and Rachael at school at 10pm. Anyone else tired? - Me too!

We do want to say thanks for the prayers that I know you are sending up on our behalf. I am feeling wonderful compared to a few weeks ago. I'd say at about 90% and that is really good! I still have tremors all the time, but I'm starting to get use to it. I haven't had any painful episodes for about 10days and that is GREAT. My headaches are still there but we are managing them. And I'm not going home for a daily nap - Going to bed early, but I am making it through the days. God is So Good! I am officially on the new medication and we are doing okay with it.

Friday my mother-in-law took me to see a speaker who specializes in Parkinson and Movement disorders. He mostly spoke on Parkinson, but some of the stuff he said regarding medications and the information he had has spurred me to get more informed about Dystonia. Not sure how to do that other than the internet - but I know I need to move in that direction.

Again - a special thanks to Rachael for taking a picture with my camera and leaving it on for me to use and abuse!

The Tale Of The Keiser Ghost.

The full moon the last night has brought the story teller in me. When our kids were little we would camp and it was my job to tell the scarey stories and I was pretty good at it. So grab your coffee and turn of the lights for this story I tell is not pretend but is based on facts. You decide whether to believe. The article in the Penassee said "Hunter finds body at Shaw Lake and Keiser road." It said he crashed his motorcycle while at a high rate of speed."It was probably the Keiser ghost," I mumbled under my breath hoping not to attract the attention of said spirit. The woods surrounding Keiser road is all public domain and it is here that I hunt turkeys. People who grew up around there often spoke of vioces in the woods as they did some teenage partying. I heard these stories too but did'nt put much stock in them........until this past week. I got of work at 3:15 and raced home to grab my gear. I was all camoed up, had my gun, my call and too sluggs incase the cougars showed up.( there are cougar sightings in the woods where I hunt.) I walked in and came around the corner of the corn feild when to does burst out nearly on top of me. They put their tales down to hide and my woodsman knowledge said that the buck should be close," I'm not after you!" and upon hearing that the buck stood up with a snort and walked away. I nestled against an oak tree and waited. The woods were very dreary and the wind was pretty blustery, good for turkey hunting. The wind drives them out of the woods. I dozed off twice and by the second time it was getting dark I needed to leave. The quikest way out was around the point and down the two track. I hate that way, the last time I went that way the trees urrupted with buzzards.I hate those things. I think they are evil , messengers from an unearhtly realm. I'll keep my head down and they will leave me alone. As I came to the point I heard a moan. No lie, a real moan. I thought maybe it was a bow hunter in trouble so I searched. Nothing. Nothing but the dark forboding form of an old curcuit preacher walking down the trail. Sorry that last sentece I made up, just the moan was real. I left in a hurry. There were parts of gophers littering the two track and I sped up. I ran to my car and headed home in the dark. As I spoke of my tale to one of the guys at work he seemed to get pale and unusually quiet and it was then he sai " The Keiser Ghost." Sleep good, Ran

Chicken and Chilli

I missed lunch. The semi came as I was getting ready to grab a bite from Macs. I was the only one with my hi-lo license so it was up to me.By the time I was done lunch was almost done so I said bag it and worked through it and got out at 4:45. All the way home all I thought about was food. So I had Cheryl warm up the chilli Marilyn made us and I bought some chicken from Hardings, threw in a salad and we ate. Then all my kids got up and went to their rooms. We are at that age where our kids just do their own thing, even Ben. Cheryl went to bed at 8:00 with a headache. Its just me and a tall glass of Mountain Dew poppin a few MMs. Maybe I"ll eat some cookie dow and really give my heart a work out. I looked in the mirror this morning and debated whether or not to shave whats left of the hair on my head. I struggle all the time with who I am .A balding man or a bald man.I just ran upstairs because Ben threw his Tonka truck across the room. He is very uptight. I know he hates school but what do you do? He is 100% me. Even with the Downes our personalities shine through. Last week I threw to car tires across my yard. I get upset. Now days I cool down alot faster. I am trying to cope with the continued stress of a often absent spouse and the needs of my families commitments and a special needs son, a dog that is dying and knowing what is best for her. It is in these times it is tricky being a closet intravert. I enjoy being alone outside if my famiy can't be with me. Tommorrow I am plannig on turkey hunting fo an hour or two. That will be nice. Can you believe I typed all thgat with two fingers? Stay cool you crazy cats. Shout out to my old pal Remnar and alwyas remember " Anyting free iz wert savin up fer." Love Ran ( Reuben).

Broken World

This morning our world feels even more broken than other times. My heart and prayers go out to the Amish families and community in PA. As I send my children out the door - I just pray that they take the power and Love of Christ with them. It is so easy to slip into a state where I just want to take my family in my arms and shelter them from the world. From emails, not-so-good friends, the T.V., billboards, and the list goes on. Christ told us to live in the world, but not of it. Wow! Easier said then done!

Today I'm okay. Very shaky and Ran said that I was twitching a lot during the night, guess that's why I'm tired. Headache is still sitting on my shoulders but overall - doing okay.

Yesterday we got the date for Ben's upcoming surgery - Thursday, November 16 at 1:00pm. Randy is working on getting that day off - he shouldn't have a problem with that.

1 Peter 5:6-7 "Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you."

We Are Still Here

It has been a long and very busy weekend. Not the greatest for my health - but you do what you have to do! Nate & Rachael had to march for a home football game, my cousin Derek got married on Friday and a bunch of cousins came into town. It was awesome to see them again. Saturday we attended a 90th birthday party for my grandma while Nate & Rachael participated in a marching competition in Otsego. Saturday night we went to my sisters so that Nate & Rachael could see everyone before they headed home. Yesterday, Sunday, we attended church then I CRASHED!

Overall I am feeling pretty good. No pain and minimal spasms. My shaking is pretty bad - getting hard to write - and my head continues to yell at me, letting me know it is up there. Yesterday I was officially off the old medication but will continue to increase the new meds through Sunday and then will be on the full dose of the new stuff. I hope that the shaking feeling will be gone soon. I think I said it before, but it feels like I'd expect an addict to feel in withdraw.
Prayers for today are varied: Ben is off to school but terrified of lightning and thunder - pray for him to have peace and the teachers to be understanding, for my headache to subside and the shakes to begin to even out, and the the kids and Randy at school and work.

There is a special speaker coming into town on Friday talking about Parkinson and Movement Disorders that I'm going to go hear so I'm working today. Blessings on your day!!!

T.G.I.F.

Good Morning Family and Friends,

I am thrilled to announce that yesterday was a pretty good day! By 6:00 I was beginning to limp and loose my balance but during the day I got quite a bit done. One of the things that has been so frustrating is that I'm used to driving myself pretty hard and multi-tasking. A side effect of the medication is being tired and concentration level being non-existent. Yesterday I didn't even take a nap. Went home at lunch and hung out for a 1/2 hour then back to work. So I'm very thankful for yesterday!

Last night I was able to meet some friends from my 9th grade class and hang out. I was wonderful to see everyone and find out about their families and hear updates on other people from our class. Not sure how much I actually remember but it was great to just be with old friends who love you. I know that they are praying for me and my family now - so there is a blessing in that knowledge.

Today looks to be another very busy day as well as tomorrow. Life doesn't seem to stop when you aren't feeling up to par. Today I'd like to ask for prayers in regards to my "thick" headache (that seems to be the word to describe it) and for the continued shaking tremors that are through out my body. Again, I'm guessing it feels like an addict when they need a fix. Hoping it is related to the medication change - and not something more permanent.

This is my verse for today. Matthew 6:34 - "Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own!" Blessings on your day! And thanks for sharing in mine - :)

Feeling Pretty Good!

Let's start this morning by saying that God gave us children so that we could embarrass them! So you know - Rachael took this picture of herself! - A face only a mother could love!

I've gone two days without the cane now - PRAISE GOD! It is really hard being 38 and having to use a cane. I know I should be grateful for things that can help - it's just hard. So I'm very thankful for the good days. Mobility is good and balance has been okay. I do have small spasms in my leg quite frequently but they are not painful - just noticeable and distracting. My constant headache and the tremoring are the worst. The tremors feel like I'm in withdraw or something. My mom said I really am since I'm going off medication as I go on new stuff. It is very tiring. So if you continue to lift me up in prayers - those are the two things - but again, very thankful for the mobility and that the spasms are not painful!

Thanks for checking in! Have a great day and I'll try to do the same!!!!!!!

One Day at a Time!

Praise God for yesterday. Your prayers were answered for a day and we will take that for now! Yesterday was the first day in over 2 1/2 weeks that I didn't use a cane!! Balance stayed with me all day long! I am still fighting headaches and the shakes but - one prayer at a time!

This morning my shakes (tremors in my arms and through out my body) feel very strong and my headache is very prominent. So I'd ask you to lift that up in prayers. Also - Ben had a very rough morning and seems to be very frustrated. Not sure what is going on but please pray that he has a good day at school and that the staff are caring and understand what he is unable to communicate.

Have a great day everyone!

Be Strong & Courageous

This morning I am excited to report that I am feeling good. On a scale, I'm about an 85%! I can tell you that is GREAT. I am walking without a limp this morning and last night I was able to go upstairs and pick up my feet while going up. Not sure if the meds are kicking in or if I'm having a good week. It used to be I'd have a bad day or two then be fine for the rest of the month. This episode has lasted for three weeks. Hoping it is the meds - afraid that I'll have one good week then we will start over again. I am choosing to live in the good health of today and let tomorrow worry about it's self.

Today I'm getting ready to go the office to work. Nate has a home soccer game and Rachael has a game at Hastings. Ben is looking forward to Nate's game because he always gets a hotdog at the soccer games at half-time.

Thanks to whoever out there dropped off the pumpkin bread to my front door yesterday. Tastes great. - Again, thanks EVERYONE for your prayers. They help not only the physical battle but the mental battle that tries to overcome me!

"Have I not commanded you? BE STRONG AND COURAGEOUS. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord you God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9

Be Patient!

Yesterday a good friend of ours was the Pastor at Voice of Hope. His title of the sermon was "Be patient!" The reference to James 5 was almost overwhelming for me personally: ... as an example of patience in the face of suffering... My head is wrapped around so many thoughts right now it is hard to sort out what I want to say.

Yesterday was a GOOD day. I had a little problem with balance but never lost my footing and never had a severe cramp in my leg or arm - PRAISE GOD. I'll be truthful - last week was a very long week. I am taking 5 pills every morning and 7 at night. Then add in what I combat my headaches with. So to have a good day means that your prayers are working! Thank You!

I've been trying to process this information about Dystonia and balance the fact that I still have Epilepsy. I know this is not a lonely walk. Family, friends and God are with me - Randy and the kids have been an unbelievable source of strength and last night a bunch of kids from our youth group showed up to hang out with us. Life goes on and we adjust. ...as an example... is a little scary. I get angry, frustrated, down, but try to hide it and look strong. I guess that this passage I mentioned earlier said to me was I need to be real. Let others in so they can help and pray accordingly.

The number on the counter just blows me away. That you all continue to check in and ride this wave with us. Thanks for being there - wherever you are - and thanks for caring. It make this whole thing easier knowing we are not alone!

How Am I Doing?

Again, thanks to everyone for checking in the blog. It has been wonderful to receive the comments and emails.
I've had several people ask how it is going. Sometimes we write to avoid. I try to focus on other areas of our life and not let the Dystonia control us. But here is the raw update.
I've contacted the doctor and we are changing the medication. With that comes additional tremors, the headaches have gotten worse and I'm having a hard time sleeping. My day usually goes like this: Wake up around 6:20am to get kids ready for school. Nate and Rachael are very independent and have become a great source of help in getting Ben ready. Ben needs a lot of help but has become more independent out of necessity. All three kids are out the door by 7:15am. I usually sit down for a cup of coffee and time with God. If I'm having a good day I walk to work around 8-8:30, if not I call a friend or my mom to drive me. Mornings are typically good and I have good mobility. About 10am I start loosing my balance and my left leg begins to tighten off and on. About noon I need to use furniture and the walls to get around in the office and if I go out I need to use the cane. This past week I've been heading home around 12:30-1 to take a nap so that I can make it to the kids sporting events in the evening.
It takes so long to wean off the old meds and onto the new that I don't think we will see a change for a week or two. But I have two wonderful doctors who return my calls and are really trying to help. The prayers have been so appreciated!!! I told a friend that when it is hard to pray for ourselves it is good to know others are praying for us and the Holy Spirit is interceding.
LIFE IS GOOD THOUGH! Randy just headed out the door with his brother for a UofM game today. Nate's soccer team has won all their games but one and that was a tie. Rachael is having a lot of fun starting her freshman year with band and basketball. Ben loves to get on the bus in the morning and I'm confident in the doctor who will be doing the upcoming surgery. Plus - My family loves me! We continue to deal with our circumstances through humor (mostly at my expense) and we have become closer than ever.
You know that goofy saying "It was the best of years - it was the worst of years" - I think I might understand that a little. Life has slowed way down for us, we celebrate the good days or good hours and our Faith WILL sustain us.

Almost forgot

I was checking our blog and realized there was no entry for today. I got home too late to see Rachaels basketball game, she was beat by my old school. I have'nt gone there since I graduated. Nate is at Hastings playing soccer and they are really tearing it up. They have yet to lose. Cheryl is sleeping and Ben is noisy so I keep telling him to be quiet. It was a beautiful day was'nt it? At work we take our breaks and lunch outside and leave all the doors open. Friday we have no plans and thats great. Saturday my little bro. Arlyn is taking me to the U of M game. It's suppose to storm, I pray it does'nt. How about a little poem to close out this blog. OCTOBER. Ay thou art welcome, heaven's delicous breath, when woods begin to wear the crimson leaf, and suns grow meek, and the meek suns grow brief. Just a piece of poetry from William Cullen Bryant. I live for this time of year when hot food tastes its best and the glow of dining rooms filled with friends fill every other home on Sycamore Street. The slow deliberate walk to the curb with the weeks rubbish gazing up at Our Creators home and wondering when we will meet.The sounds of muffled laughter from Dan and Shirleys house break my trance and as I walk through the back door of my tiny leaky cottage of a home the smell of hot coffee and the warmth of the smile from my beautiful bride greets me. Have a great night, love Ran

Define a Good Day - - -

Thank you for all the thoughts and prayers today! You can tell by the title that is wasn't the best of days but we got the job done. Thanks again to my wonderful friends April and Caroline. Overall it went well. It was very difficult getting an IV in Ben. Between the fear, fighting and his veins not cooperating - Ben on the other hand, when he wasn't scared did awesome.

The doctor did make the decision that we will be having surgery within the next 6-8 weeks. It is called a catheter ablation. What Ben has is WPW Syndrome or Wolff-Parkinson-White Syndrome. I included a link to the right for anyone wanting to know more. He has had it since birth, it is just time to have it taken care of. The doctor is confident that it will go well.

It has been a long day and I'm going to wind down with a cup of joe and veg. Right now Ben is doing great. Just went upstairs to watch a short movie. At this point we plan on sending him to school tomorrow. I have a picture I'll include tomorrow. MUCH LOVE! the Smiths

In God's Hands

Getting ready for bed but wanted to let everyone know what our day tomorrow looks like.

Ben has his procedure at Butterworth Downtown. Not sure what it is called or how to spell it but we are leaving at 7am. We need to be at the hospital by 8. His procedure begins at 10am and should only last 20-30 minutes. My understanding is that he will be put to sleep and they will be running a dye through his heart. The results will tell us whether Doctor Finta (keep him in your prayers as he makes the decision) will be doing a heart cath at a later date. Other than anxiety and fear we expect tomorrow to go well. I have two very good friends going with us. Caroline and April- they will take good care of us.

On a personal front. We have made the decision that the new meds are not working at all. I have begun a new regiment of medication. It will take 2 weeks to wean off the old meds and 3 weeks to wean onto the new. The weeks will coincide - but pray for my health, that there are NO seizures during the transition and for anyone that has to deal with me - since emotional I will probably not be the best.

Thanks for the love and encouragement. Let us know if you have any questions. Other people probably have the same ones and we can answer for everyone.

Just a Tidbit

Short one for today - Randy is planning on writing later tonight.

I have a call into the doctor. The meds don't seem to be doing what they need to do. I have minimal use of my left leg this afternoon and my balance is all off. Pain is not so bad, so that is good. Hope that the doctor calls soon. Not sure if we will change the meds or just up them. Pray for some relief, patience and for me to be able to relax!

Coffee, Friends & Music - What could be better?

Last night we had a wonderful time with friend at the Daily Brews in Wayland. Our dear friend Adam was playing as well as a new friend Brian. It was a full house and a lot of fun. Poor Bruce was working hard at keeping up with orders - but I'm sure he was pleased.
Today is a good day. Aches are there with minimal pain. I don't really expect 100% days anymore so we are reajusting the scale and today is now GREAT. Slept pretty good, woke up with out the alarm, took a bath (still needed a little help from Ran) and getting ready for church. I looked at the counter again on the blog this morning and I'm amazed at the number of people who continue to check in with us. It might seem impersonal - but it has been a blessing to us. A way to let you know how we are doing, what is going on, but without the emotional bagage I seem to carry right now. Anyone who has talked with me knows that I tend to cry a lot these days. I know it is apart of the mourning process. Mourning what will no longer be. Soon we will move into the next phase, but for now - that's where I am.

Have I told you lately I LOVE MY FAMILY!? My kids are the best and my husband - (okay - tears are close). God knew before anything that I would need his strength, character, stuborness and love to get us through yet another of lifes struggles.

This is a picture from one of our day trips this summer. Have a fantastic day and be thankful for what you have - don't want for what you don't!!!!

So - It's Not Okay

I had a wonderful friend spend some time with me yesterday who is spending a LOT of time thinking about things. He said he had been reading the blog and it bugs him that everyone says words of encouragement (including myself) that everything is going to be okay. I've been thinking about that. My verse today (and a lot of days) is John 16:33b "In this world you WILL have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." I looked up the word trouble: to agitate mentally or spiritually (we will add physically ourselves) - whooo. I'm troubled!!!! But look at the next line But take heart! I have overcome the world. That's where the encouragement comes from, where the hope resides and how we keep going everyday though the pain and anxiety.

Yesterday was a mentally and physically rough day. I came to the realization that before when I'd have the episodes: intense cramps, headaches, not sleep well, trip and fall, or unexplained pain - well I'd work through that one and be done. With the diagnosis of Dystonia comes the acknowlegement that this one will be followed by a hundred more. But Christ Himself said (it's written in red in my Bible) But take heart! I have overcome the world.

Yesterday and today I have a pain in my calf that won't go away and a headache that screams - pay attention, I'm up here. But we are here on earth for a blink of an eye compared to eternity with Christ. So take heart in whatever circumstances you find yourself because Christ said I HAVE OVERCOME THE WORLD!

POWER of Prayer

1 Peter 5:6-7 "Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. CAST ALL YOUR ANXIETY on Him because he cares for you."

That verse holds a lot more power today that it did a short time ago. The prayers you are sending up on behalf of our family are being felt. There is still some fear and anxiety, but we feel loved and cared for.

Exciting news - Yesterday Nate won his soccer game and I received a packet I've been waiting for from the Dystonia Foundation. There is a lot of good info in it. I just watched a short 13 min movie and the book I've started is great (and I'm only on page 12). I'm feeling a little more normal (whatever normal is) within the circumstances we are finding ourselves. My medication is seeming to even out a little. Still very tired but I think it is because of the strain on my body. My family is AWESOME (you'll keep hearing that) and you are all treasured in my heart. When I'm unable to think of how to pray - I know there are others praying for us - interceding on our behalf - THANKS!

Bad news - Rachael didn't play a lot at her game yesterday and was bummed. She would be my most tender hearted and having the hardest time with everything. Keep her close in your heart today. If having Basketball, Marching Band and being a Freshman weren't enough - she has to deal with me.

Someday's I'm funny - someday I'm not - today I'm OKAY - really okay. God is doing great things and in His time it will be reviled. LOVE YOU ALL. Thanks for checking in on us. I see the blog counter continues to climb so I know you are keeping up on us.

A few people have asked - please forward your friends and family letter to others. I can't even imagine the Power Prayer has and we would certainly like all of it we can muster!

Blessings on your Day! Cheryl & the crew

Choices

Good Morning Everyone! We have a lot of people checking in on us and I really appreciate the thoughts and prayers. I really wish this blog had spell check - so opps. I really don't want to know if I make mistakes - just blame it on the meds - I do!

A good friends sent me an email about choices. Wow! What a great reminder that it's not what we are going through but how we choose to look at it.

So what is this picture about? This was my attitude about my new cane yesterday. But today - isn't it beautiful? - not really but it does help my balance and it doesn't have four wheels so I will be thankful for the the slim, blue, gorgeous cane. I like to set new trends - we'll have to see what happens with this one.

Today's verse for me is Philippians 4:19 "And my God will meet all my needs according to His glorious riches in Jesus Christ."

Have a GREAT day and choose the positive road - the other road is full of thorns and despair!

Good Days and Bad

Today was a difficult day. Started out rough: slept bad, kids forgot lunches and other stuff, work was hard to concentrate on and the body is just all around sore today. I hope it is the weather. Just wanted you all to know I'm here. Loving each of you and the encouraging notes and calls you give.

A friend send me an email with the following: Jeremiah 29:11-13
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your
heart."

Seeking HIM Desperately! - Cheryl

Do Rats Giggle? Do We Care?

This morning my devotion was about joy - it was a hard thing for me to read through. Rough night and it looks to be a long day. BUT GOD IS GREAT AND KNOWS ALL. After reading my devotion I recieved an email from old friends in Estonia. It was such a blessing to hear from them. God's timing is GREAT.
With God on the throne - we CAN NOT fail - and we try to not faulter!
Hugs and Kisses! Cheryl

Life is SOOO not serious!

I've debated what type of information you are all looking for - the stories I want to tell you. Do you want serious life stuff or the "real Smith family saga" - well until I hear differently you are going to get it all.

This is for all of you who want to hear the "REAL" story - AAHHHHHHH.

I have several pills I take in the morning and at night. The last three mornings I have gotten my pills from the bottles and from the time I walk from the bathroom to the kitchen (all but 10 steps) I have lost the tiny blueish/purple pill. I look on the floor (of which the 5 second rule has turned into a 2 second rule) and the thing is just gone! Not sure if it is discenigrating into my palm or what! Good news is I have LOTS of more pills. I just keep popping them. Even funnier is the fact that this is the one bottle that I can't get open because it is so small so I have to admit to a family member I've lost another pill.

Picture this (sorry Rach) This morning Rachael was on her hands and knees at 6:50am looking on the floor for a small little pill. She is such a doll.

I was telling a friend about this and here is the email she just sent: Hey Cheryl - I think I found your pill... oh, sorry, it was just a blue M&M on the floor.

Keep the notes of encouragement and laughter coming as well as the prayers. 2 Timothy 1:7 - "God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline." I feel a lot of fear in the unknown right now - but He has given us the spirit of power. Praise God!

Dance With Me!!!!!

FOOTPRINTS IN THE SAND By Mary Stevenson
One night a man had a dream. He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the Lord. Across the sky flashed scenes from his life. For each scene, he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand: One belonging to him, and the other to the Lord. When the last scene of his life flashed before him, He looked back at the footprints in the sand. He noticed that many times along the path of his lifethere was only one set of footprints. He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times in his life.
This really bothered him and he questioned the Lord about it. "Lord, You said that once I decided to follow you, You'd walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that during the mosttroublesome times in my life, there is only one set of footprints. I don't understand why when I neededyou most you would leave me." The Lord replied,"My son, My precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I Carried You."
The dream continued and suddenly the man sawthe first set of footprints were back.This time they seemed even worse! They zigzagged all over the place.Stopped. Started. There are even gashes in the sand.A variable mess of footprints.The man was amazed and shocked.
His dream ended.
Then he prayed:"Lord, I understand the first scene, the uncertain double set of footprints.I was a new Christian; I was just learning to walk like You.
"That is correct."
"And when there was only one set of footprints, You carried me through my hard times.”
"Very good. You have understood everything so far."
"So, Lord, was there a regression or something?Did I leave You to go my own way again? The footprints separated,and this time it was worse than at first. They went willy nilly in the sand."
There was a pause as the Lord answered with a smile in His voice,
"You didn't know? It was then that we danced!"
To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven:
A time to weep, a time to laugh, a time to mourn, and a time to dance.
Ecclesiastes 3:1,4.

Thanks to my mother-in-law for this wonderful reminder!!!

"Come to Me . . ."

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30

This morning I woke up to a lot of aching muscles! Probably did to much yesterday - but what is too much until you do it?

Laying in bed - I decided to get up and take a hot bath and work out some of the sores. Well after being in the tub for over an 1/2 hour I didn't have any strength to get out! Fortunately Randy woke up shortly and helped me get up and out. Certainly have to store that in the memory bank - Need Randy around when taking a bath. It did feel good although things are getting stiff again.

I'm so thankful that today is Sunday and we can go celebrate with God's family. It is hard to have everyone see me with questioning eyes and I have no answers - but still good to be with people who love me and my family.

Before you sign off - read Matthew 11:28-30 again -

Doesn't God ROCK?!

Chilly Day

Just got home from Nate's soccer game - WE WON! Ran & Rachael are at the Allegan County Parade. Hope to be home soon. Had a lot of questions and concerns at the soccer game about my slow walk etc. It is becoming more evident that I need assistance. I just HATE the cane that my Dad got for me. Today Cindy helped me out and I really appreciate her love and friendship.

Last night was another long night. I hope I'm just thinking to much and that we are not developing a pattern of insomnia.

I'm sending an e-letter to friends and family to link them to this site - I'm also working on linking some Dystonia sites to our blog to help you understand a little of what we are looking at. I feel good in the knowledge that each person and case is different and only God is in control!

Phillipians 4:19 And my God will meet ALL your needs accoring to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus!

Power of Prayer

Dear friends and fam,
Thanks for the prayers of support - they are helping. I was told by the boss (Ran) that I still talked during the night but I did wake up alert this morning. Hopefully the pills will spread out in my system and things will begin to even out. The painful cramps are few and far between, mobility is still wabbly (spelling?). I was given a few bible study books yesterday that I'm looking forward to getting into.
This morning I did have one break down - sorry Nate that you had to bear it - my loving mom called and dad was able to get me a new cane yesterday. She is going to be dropping it off and bringing me to work later. I think this means that we definatly need to stop at the 'Daily Brews' for a cup of jo! I hate the thought of needing a walker - but the reality is that I do. I really hate reality!!
Bright side: Nate's soccer team won by a lot yesterday and he had some great passes. Rachael's bball team lost by one point but played an AWESOME game. Rachael had her second basket of the season!!!!! Go Girl!

soccer and shotguns

The funny thing about having a spouse with an illness( this is'nt something new, we have been dealing with this for 8 years now) is that life keeps going. This fall Nate and Rachael are in high school sports so there are times we go to games and other times Cheryl Ben and I stay home. Oh by the way Ben is Rachaels twin who happens to have Downe Syndrome. We have had practice at slowing down in life.Thats hard for me though, I tend to have ants in my pants.I need to be outdoors walking, mowing,cleaning the garage,fishing or hunting. That brings me to my new 12 gauge pump. ooooooooooooohhhhhhhh sssoooooo ccccoooollll. I had to take it outside and tell Cheryl I was'nt going to shoot myself just look at my new toy. Turkeys beware.I'm not a gun freak, I just like the smell of gun oil. I guess I'm a gun oil freak.Any ways did I mention I hate typing on the computer? Now you know. Peace out dog. Love Harry

Honesty is the best policy??

Last night was a very rough night. I thought I'd take a 1/2 hour nap before Ran got home and ended up crashing until 9pm. The new medication is just kicking my but. I missed dinner and family time. When I woke up I had a hard time figuring out where I was and what I was suppose to do.

Here is the honesty - turn away if you don't want to handle!!! During the night I had a major anxiety attack that I couldn't get away from on my own. Several of your names came to mind - but the phone numbers were lost to me. I then woke the love of my life and he held me and whisper calming word. It seems that during the night have become the scariest for me. It's when my head and heart divide and my head takes over. The fear of the unknown, the absolute NON-control of my situation and life -

Today I can see and hear Psalm 103: 'Praise the Lord, O my soul, and forgot not all his benefits - who forgives all you sins and HEALS ALL YOUR DISEASES, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion.'

Praise God that following the dark of the night comes His brilliant light and comfort!

- No Idea Where To Begin

Tonight I'm sitting here after having had a VERY long and unexpected nap. I have my coffee with me and know I want to tell everyone what is going on and how I feel - but have no idea where to begin.

After almost 9 years of being treated for epilepsy with a large variety of drugs, yesterday we were finally given a diagnosis for what seems to be wrong with me. Have you heard of 'Dystonia'? Ran and I hadn't either until about 5 years ago when we were at the UofM Hospital.

To give you a very brief picture I'm going to give the the following excerpt from the Dystonia Medical Search Foundation WebSite: Dystonia is a disorder that has to do with the way we move. The control of our movements is very complicated and involves many areas in the brain. The area of the brain that is involved in dystonia is called the basal ganglia. The basal ganglia is a deep region of the brain that controls the speed of movement and prevents unwanted movements.

What does that mean for us? Well if you were unfortunate enought to be with our family this past Saturday or at church this past Sunday - you saw a little of what we are talking about. Good News is - it has been progressing for over 9 years and the progression has been slow. We have a wonderful base of family and friends who continue to lift our family in prayer. And we are no longer dealing in grey - but we have a diagnosis and can now move ahead with adjustments to our lives and plans to lay in place.

This Blog will be a place for Randy and I to continue to share our thoughts, joys and struggles with you. Feel free to comment, it will certainly encourage us as well as others who read it.

Be warned - if you go looking on the web for information pertaining to Dystonia it's not pretty. I'm working at getting some littature that will help all of us learn together. If you would like to share with us what you find - please filter and send us the positive stuff. Personal Bible verses that have spoken to you and words of encouragement would be more appreciated.

"It was then that He carried me!"

I've been wanted to talk to everyone and share what has been going on in our lives - but somedays it is just to overwhelming to go over again and again. Thanks to my friend Bennett who fixed us up with this blog so that we can begin to share our lives with you as we continue to live it.

This morning I am again drawn - to Randy's dismay - to the poem 'Footprints in the Sand.' As corny as most people think it is - it is a strength and comfort to me in hard times. Take a minute to read Romans 8:18. Our present sufferings DO NOT COMPARE with the glory that awaits us! WOW!

That's it for now - sorry. I'll post again later! Cheryl

Welcome to the Smith Family Blog!

Welcome to the Smith Family Blog! This is where we'll keep you up to date about what is going on with the Smith family. All the joys the struggles, the busyness and the laziness - we'll try to keep you informed. So sit back, relax and grab a cup of jo - and enjoy the read.